I haven't wrote a post for over a week. I am not too sure how I feel about this blog. I feel like it stops me writing in my sketchbooks because I feel like I am repeating myself, however unlike my sketchbook annotations this blog is all about being reflective. Feedback from Jo and from re-reading my blog I realise I need to be less descriptive and more reflective.
Today was the final day of the design theory project. It has been strange to have a 2 week project after so many 1 week projects. I have realised that 2 weeks is not a long time atall. At the beginning of the project with 2 weeks ahead I felt quite relaxed about working but if I have another 2 week project I would work much more consistently instead of doing nothing for 2 days and then having to work all day the next. I have also realised how important experimentation is and how I should probably think and worry less and do (draw) moreee.
I felt pretty upset after the crit. It was very negative. I am not used to this atall, I think all my life I have got good grades and on foundation I don't think I ever really had a bad crit, the tutors were so positive about everything I did. On reflection this probably wasn't a good thing as negative criticism can push you further but I also really miss this constant positivity that I relied on and which I think really helped me and my work. Art is therapeutic but I think I definitely produce my best work when I am feeling happy and worry free. To feel happier I think I need to draw more, go out and explore Glasgow and just draw. I think all throughout this project I have felt pretty stressed and pressured to produce something good and maybe this showed in my final piece, it did feel a bit contrived and the idea was rushed. Worrying and putting pressure on myself is definitely not helpful and I think I could try harder to stop this. However I was happy with my final piece and I really enjoyed drawing and painting and actually spending a long period of time working hard on something. I did work hard on the project and I think I was definitely shocked to hear that the execution of my final piece really let it down. I'm not really sure what they meant, I am good at drawing and the drawings I did were good, I liked the layout, the font, the paper and cardboard that I used. I should have asked more questions so I could understand and learn from the criticism. I find the crits quite intimidating, especially as I have joined in second year and I feel other people are much older and confident than me. I think I can be a confident person and sometimes I surprise myself but I need to learn to be much more confident about my work and speaking about it so I can find crits easier and enjoyable. Near the end of the crit Jo said we needed to defend our work against their criticism. I felt guilty for not defending my work and ideas. I think I am too sensitive and because my work is always quite personal I take criticism very personally. I need to be tougher, I will probably receive a lot of negative feedback throughout my time at Glasgow which will help me to develop my practice. I think it is also fine to disagree with the feedback given. I felt like in the crit I was discouraged from drawing and encouraged to use computers, this is not me, this is not my work, I hate computers, I realise I will probably have to tackle this soon but I really really don't want to.
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